Round 1 – Post Chemo Thoughts

It’s been over 2 weeks since my first chemo treatment, and it’s been quite the learning. As I mentally (and nutritionally) prepare for the next round of treatment, I thought I’d reflect on my first experience and answer some FAQs.

What is the treatment plan?

The recommended treatment plan for me is to have 6 cycles of chemotherapy and targeted therapy (IV), followed by surgery, 4-6 weeks of radiotherapy, 12 cycles of targeted therapy (IV) and then 5 years of hormone therapy (pill).

How long is the chemo treatment? A full day.

Treatment day is a long day. It starts first thing in the morning (9am or earlier), I have to get blood tests, meet with the oncologist to review the results to see if my body is able to receive chemo treatment that day. If my white blood cell count, or any other important indicators are off, treatment will need to be postponed. I’m doing everything I can (fattening myself up via Mom’s healthy nutritious cooking) – so that this does not happen. My goal is to kick cancer out of my body as fast as I can, so I may continue with my awesome life. After the chemo cocktail is mixed (takes an hour – during which I have to take an anti-nausea pill to prevent vomiting during treatment), I sit in a comfy lazy boy chair and let the chemicals drip into my body for the next 3-4 hours. All in all, the whole treatment is a full day’s affair.

How do you feel after treatment? Like absolute shit.

Not gonna lie, it’s not fun. Is it worse than I imagined? Yes. I had an unrealistic expectation that I was super human and can be “better” at chemo than other people. Based on my last post (which I wrote when I felt like shit) you can tell it’s pretty shitty. I’ve since learned that when your body feels like shit constantly, it fucks with your head. I’m very lucky to have really amazing people around me who check-in with me during this and make sure that my headspace doesn’t get taken over by darkness. I think the best way to describe it is that I felt like a zombie. My mind felt foggy, I felt like I was still sleeping even though I was awake and my entire body was sore. Here’s a brief summary of the days:

• Day 1-6: I was mainly a lying down zombie. One that gets up to hunt and look for food, but then gets too tired and goes back to bed.
  • Max energy level is 30% for 2 hours a day.
• Day 7-10: I graduated to a walking zombie. I felt more like myself but still trapped inside a zombie’s body. During my “awake” times, I was able to do light exercise and had a healthy appetite.
  • Max energy level is 60% for 4 hours a day.
• Day 11-15: I have broke out of the zombie body and am fully myself again, huge improvements (except the energy part).
  • Max energy level is 75% for 6 hours a day.
• Day 16-21: I haven’t gotten there yet, but I presume it’s going to continue to be great.

What are you allowed to eat? Everything that is not raw / unpasteurized.

If you ask a dietician, they’ll tell you to eat a healthy, low sodium, fat, sugar diet with lots of fruits, vegetables, legumes, lean protein. The only real restrictions are raw foods (sushi), unpasteurized products (certain cheeses and honey) and other random foods that messes with the chemo drugs (Seville oranges, Pomelo, too much Green tea). But when your nutrition is now being managed by your Chinese mom (with input from all her Chinese friends), that list of what you cannot eat grows exponentially. No shrimp, lobster, crab, duck, beef, fried foods, processed food, raw vegetables of any kind, any kind of food that is colder than room temperature….the list goes on.

Will you lose your hair with chemo? Yeah… sigh…

Although I don’t particularly feel that I’m a very vain person, the thought of hair loss caused me the most distress. Part of me feels that once my hair is gone (breast cancer chemo drugs causes almost complete hair loss by day 15-17… so that’s in the next 2 days…EEK), the world will see me and know that I have cancer and the other part of me thinks I have an odd shaped head, so being bald just looks strange. The thought of chunks of hair falling out is also appalling. Once this happens, I will get Rom to buzz the remaining hair off. In preparation, I have purchased $160 worth of hats/toques to try on, including two that are from the Hello Kitty X PUMA edition, which I’m very excited about. Also thanks to my dear friend Hannah, I now have many beautiful scarves to rock when I want something more classy. Since the baldness is inevitable, I must embrace it fashionably.